The MOB, The MIL and the MIF
Happy Mother’s Day!
We all love our mums and everything they do for us and of course they’ve got to play a part in our weddings. This is a big day for the MOB (that’s Mother of tBride) and the Mother-in-Law, but what happens when the mums accidently start adding stress to the day? Well, we’ve got you covered to handle every kind of mum in the lead up to your special celebration.
Years ago, the mother of the bride tended to plan most of the wedding, and had a lot of influence in all aspects of the big day. Nowadays, brides and grooms want a much more personal celebration, and the mums who were excited to have a say suddenly don’t get to choose what they think is best for their little girl. This could result in some serious clashes of opinion and cause some tension both during the wedding planning, and the day itself.
If you know your mum might be prone to a couple of tantrums, make sure you warn your vendors in advance so they can be prepared to only take instructions or changes from you (that way there’ll be no nasty surprises on the day!). This can be more difficult if your parents are paying for your day, but remember, it’s still your wedding, and the money doesn’t mean they get to overrule your opinions and choices.
Momzillas just want to be a part of the day; so why not give her control over an aspect of the wedding that you really don’t want to deal with, or that you don’t mind having so much control over. Invitations are a good option, that way she can be in charge of getting all those RSVPs out of your more forgetful friends!
The Mum who wants no part of the Planning Process:
As much as you don’t want a Momzilla who tries to control and fight you throughout the planning, it can be just as frustrating having a mother who’s really not that interested in helping out. Often, these mums live busy lives, and are happy for you to be independent and make the day your own. They still love you just as much, but they may not realize that you still want them to help you with some of the hundreds of decisions you’ll be making.
Try and make a few special wedding appointments that your mum can definitely come to, and make it something that just you and her can go to and bond over. Her voice might be drowned out in big appointments, but she’ll appreciate you coming directly to her and really hearing her thoughts and opinions. A lot of brides want their mum to love their dress, so consider just bringing her to a few wedding dress appointments; chances are, she’ll know your taste and style better than anyone else, and you’ll find something you both love.
The left-out Mother-in-Law:
The Mother-in-Law can often feel left out of the wedding planning. Particularly if she doesn’t have any daughters of her own, this could be her only chance to have that ever-so-important female bonding time. Geography might make it more difficult to be involved, but you can combat this by sending her messages asking for her opinion every now and then, just to let her know that you’re thinking of her. She’ll appreciate even the smallest message.
The MiL can also find the actual wedding day slightly difficult, as she doesn’t always get to have a role during the day. To avoid her feeling like she’s left out, why not get her a nice gift and surprise her on the day. It might sound cheesy, but jewelry that matches something you own will show her that you really do think of her as family.
The Mum who isn’t there:
It’s tough if your mum can’t be there for any reason. It can really add a sad note to your wedding, and it can be a daunting thought having to do it without her. So bring her into the wedding in the small touches; why not keep a photo of her in your bouquet? Or wear something that she wore on her wedding day? You could also play one of her favourite songs at the reception. That way you’ll be reminded of her and know that she’s still a part of your special day, without her actually having to be there.