Wedding planning is difficult. Even if you’re using a wedding planner who can help alleviate the stress, there are still lots of decisions to be made. You and your partner have decided that you want to spend the rest of your lives making decisions together and compromising, and that’s amazing, but this will still be a strong test of how well you can work together.
You may find yourselves bickering over things you never thought you’d care about; who knew that the colour of the grooms men’s shoes were SO important!
It can be too easy to fall into disagreements over the smallest of details of the wedding, and it can often make you feel overwhelmed when you think about the rest of your relationship.
Don’t forget why you’re really doing this, and so to keep on track, here’s our top 5 ways to avoid couple conflict.
Set aside not-wedding-planning time:
It can be great fun to spend your time poring over beautiful stationery, smelling gorgeous flowers, and tasting delicious sample cakes, but if you spend every spare second thinking about and planning for your wedding, the rest of your relationship can be put on the back burner. Combat this by making sure you give yourselves a couple of hours a week to focus on the things you both love doing - go for a walk together, watch a movie, or even take a day trip out of town. The one rule is: No talking about the wedding!
Work alone, and then together:
If you throw yourself into a wedding matter, without either of you really having any idea what you want, then you’ll potentially come into the conversation from very different directions, without having the ability to merge your ideas and start compromising. Try making a list of all the different aspects of the wedding, and then each of you can go away, decide what is most important to you, and how you would like certain things to look. That way, you can be prepared to explain what you want and what you’re willing to give up or change for your partner.
Don’t forget that your partner has other things to think about.
Sometimes, no matter how excited you are for your wedding, planning is the last thing on your mind. If your loved one is having a tough time at work, or just feels knackered at the end of a long week, then don’t push the wedding onto them. It’s okay to vary how you divide up the planning. Maybe you can check back on the RSVP's alone this week, and then when you need a break from it all, they’ll be able to pick up their side and work on it alone.
When you are wedding planning together, do it properly!
Everyone knows it’s difficult to get anything done when you’re feeling crabby, hungry, or tired. So when you've set time aside to plan together, make sure you’re feeling prepared and ready to make decision. Clear the space that you’re using, make sure you've got some snacks at the ready and set some goals for that day. You’re much less likely to have a disagreement if you’re both feeling comfortable and relaxed.
Don’t be afraid to seek advice:
You might think you’ve come up with the best idea in wedding history, and your partner has no way of convincing you otherwise. When it comes to times like this, it’s great to chat to a wedding planner; they’ll have heard almost every idea at some point, and they’ll be able to give you an objective view on whether it’s a good idea or not. They’ll also be able to show you alternative options, and give you possibilities you might not have even thought of yet. Friends and family will also be able to offer advice and ideas from their own celebrations; so don’t ignore any top tips they might give you!
So next time the wedding comes up, grab a cup of tea, start scouring Pinterest, and enjoy planning your wedding! And don’t’ forget that if you need any help, we’re always here at West Country Wedding Planner.